Today I am 30.
Such a big number when you’re approaching it from 20 and yet such a young number once you’re a parent and looking at your own folks with adoration of where they were 30 short years ago. I have certainly been blessed in the last few decades to live such an incredible life. At times it feels like lifetimes with my masters degree, a million certifications in yoga and having lived on the magical island of cape cod between figuring out and building my dream career. My amazing husband has only been in my life for 6 of the past 30 years and yet our relationship feels like he’s been here for my whole lifetime, and some days it feels like we met yesterday.
Everything has happened in the blink of an eye. The birth of my beautiful bright eyed son. The adoption of my handsome and rugged little rescue. Each graduation from college, reiki and yoga. The marriage to my soulmate and all of the celebrations and blessings between.
Last night was a huge highlight to my life, a tribute to who I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going to go. Ringing in this new decade surrounded by my favorite people in the entire world, going home with my true love at the end of the evening and picking up that tangible love in the form of our adorable baby boy today. Love is where it’s at and knowing who I am is one of the most beautiful gifts in life. My 30s are going to ROCK because I finally feel comfortable in my skin.
It feels like a lifetime ago that I was playing McDonalds drive thru (a career I’m glad my 5 year-old self didn’t pursue). It seems like a million years since I fell for the boy next door, a million and one since my first heartbreak as I cried in front of my giant, blue Apple computer while I waited for the AIM messages from my friends telling me they loved me and my daddy putting his arm on my shoulder. Or the moment I was staring into that same computer and saw my college acceptances arrive.
When the iPhone came and Facebook and MySpace, it changed the way we communicated. I waited for a text message from my husband instead of a phone call and he left the cutest first words that made my heart melt.
Or how about the times before that first text when I worked on the boats as a DJ and let the ocean heal my soul and the songs, boys & gossip change me? I made lifelong friends who still give the best hugs and when we connect it’s like we haven’t been apart for quite that long.
And before that, the girlfriends who everyone said I wouldn’t keep. No one stays in touch from high school, they say. And yet we have all been in each other’s weddings, birthdays, and life celebrations for 20+ years and not only each other but we dragged our favorite teacher alongside with us for the ride.
Through it all, my very best friend had been holding my heart in her hand. She has flown across the country to be with me for so many reasons and held my sons hand in the hospital. She helped wipe all those tears from my eyes before Karthik walked into my life. And I am so close to her that we have our own anniversary (because why should couples be the only ones to have all the fun, when we’ve been friends longer?)
I have had far too many jobs where I’ve met so many lifelong friends, from the ocean to the boardroom, the classroom to the studio and everything in between. It’s all shaped me to become the business owner I am, as each job and person who walked into my life helped me to become who I am today as an entrepreneur.
It all lead me to Barefoot Yoga Shala. Each up and down, each failed business or job, was a moment in time that taught me a lesson on the path to becoming the creator of Barefoot. The past 19 months have taught me some of the most incredible lessons. I am honored that our community has grown and am eager for the teacher training in the year ahead. I bow to each of my soul warrior students and couldn’t be more humbled to be their teacher.
Each moment of my life, each significant step in time has been flooding back to me all week. The beautiful, simple moments that have made my heart lift, break, crack wide open and smile wider than I knew I could. Moments so small I could boil them down into a sentence: every time my dad tells me he’ll fix something, the first time I stepped on my mat, nights on the boat, ANY time in Wolfeboro, any time I am with my cousins, my dad holding my hand so I wouldn’t inappropriately RUN down the aisle to marry Karthik, dancing at our marriage rehearsal the night before, stepping onto my mat at Power Yoga of Cape Cod for my first class (with Eric) and any class I taught or took there, walking the beach with Apollo as we chased the sunsets and tennis balls, creating our first home, hosting my first Thanksgiving (on my birthday), my doodle becoming one of my best friends, family traditions that snuck into our life, riding an elephant in India (and giving her reiki), traveling internationally for the first time, meeting my new family and loving every single one of them, turning the key in Barefoot’s front door, the anxiety I felt the first day of classes as I wished and hoped that someone would walk through the front door, the day I found out I was pregnant moments before Christmas celebrations began, Zyan’s first breath and the instant they laid him on my chest, watching him try to roll over or smile or laugh and all his tiny milestones … These baby moments are so small while they’re happening and yet so huge in the long run.
As they keep saying “the days are long, but the years are short.”
Today, I am celebrating those little moments and stepping into so much love. I am bowing my head in meditation and thanking each moment, each person for being in my life.
My 30s are going to be the best decade yet and I cannot WAIT to see what they bring! I promise myself more meditation and yoga, many more massages, date nights and laughter. I promise to give my life and everyone around me everything I have to give, always. And I promise to try and be the best wife and momma I can be while being myself, always.
I am beyond grateful to step into this new decade of life and if last night and today is any indication of who will be by my side, I know it will be.
Love love love,