October 2014, feeling OMazing
“The past ten years I have allowed myself to let the scale determine my mood, my day and my emotions. I have let it control me for far too long and I no longer need that. I want to feel sexy and strong. I want to feel great in my skin and I no longer want that to center around a certain number. I want to feel luminous after a good, sweaty yoga practice. I want to feel invigorated after a boxing lesson and I want to feel strong and challenged while trying my hand at trapeze.
It’s time I started thinking about how I FEEL in my body. It’s time to stop feeling badly because I’m one pound heavier today than I was yesterday. It’s time to fall deeply, madly in love with myself and continue to guide others on this path. It’s time I ditched my scale for a hot date with my husband!”
I wrote these words a little over a year ago on my blog. I was talking about the day I decided to quite weight watchers and instead become a healthy watcher and although I still believe in those words wholeheartedly, this is where I am now.
In the past year I have gained AND lost 20 pounds. In November of 2013 I weight around 147 lbs, I gained 13 pounds before March of 2014 and have since lost 17 pounds.
This is my current story. Our stories change from year to year and often from moment to moment. My hope with this story is that you will find some inspiration below. Do not be afraid of change, and always remember to continue loving yourself throughout the entire process.
A lot of things had happened: We moved out of our beautiful 3 bedroom ranch in the Cape and straight into the open arms and open door of my in-laws house. My husband had an amazingly new (and stressful) position and I had found myself without a solid career path. I had lost my footing and didn’t feel grounded.
I used chili beef, mutton curry and biryani to comfort my soul and re-ground me to this world. I connected through food and wrote my blogs on the couch or the kitchen table, forgetting to use movement in my daily life and instead using the library, cafes and our living room as my place of sanctuary. I lost touch with my meditation practice and couldn’t find my soul. I knew it was there, just as I knew my physical body was there (and growing at that), but I couldn’t CONNECT.
When I opened the Shala in March, everything changed. My heart was re-charged and I honestly felt as though my soul had once again arrived in my body. It was almost as though it were waiting for me to find my place of calm and sanctuary before allowing itself to drift back into its home.
In May I woke up one morning and realized I couldn’t do this journey alone. I felt defeated and ashamed walking back through the weight watchers front door. But then, the most miraculous thing happened, I could hear myself saying these beautiful words to myself as I did to you back in June of 2013:
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be, and it’s perfect.”
March 2014 – not connected or grounded
Just because I walked back does not make me a bad person and should NOT fill me with shame. The act of weighing in each week is my way of being a health watcher. The number on the scale no longer depresses me if I am up (.2) lbs or down (1.8) lbs. What matters is the journey itself.
I began ENJOYING food again, and appreciating each bite instead of shoveling food into my mouth. I began to reconnect to my physical body by not only teaching 20 classes a week, but by TAKING my own yoga classes and connecting to my meditation practice. I began receiving massages and getting my nails done, I let my hair down (and let it grow) thus allowing myself to relax and re-ground.
By the time the summer rolled around this year, I was not at my goal weight yet, but I FELT amazing. I felt divine and radiant and alive… and that is what mattered to me most.
November 2014 – feeling radiant!
There are days when I wish the scaled would say “you’re radiant” instead of “you’re down (.4)” but those are the days when I tell that to myself. I look in the mirror and say YOU ARE RADIANT, YOU ARE HEALTHY, YOU ARE LOVED.
And it works.
A journey is just that: a journey or a process. I have been proud of myself every step of the way, whether in the beginning a few months back or in the middle as I am today, I feel great.
March 2013 & December 2014
A combination of yoga & weight watchers is what has always worked for my body and I’m proud to be as strong and radiant as I am today. I no longer feel bloated, I have tons of energy and feel healthy in all my decisions (even if I do grab that extra bit of chocolate at bedtime I know it’s okay).
I’m rooted, grounded and in-tune with my body, mind and soul.
As such, this is a PSA and a reminder to you: YOU ARE RADIANT, YOU ARE HEALTHY AND YOU ARE LOVED. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I’m so proud of you wherever you are on your journey.
In the comments below, please share your own journey either with health or weight loss. I would love to connect with you!
Get out there– do yoga & make life sparkle!
It has been quite a while since I’ve done a Magical Monday post and I felt it was time to get back into the rhythm. I list my gratitude daily via notebooks and conversations with friends, but there is something so soothing about sharing it here. It somehow feels more real. As much as I loved Free Love Fridays, it just didn’t have the same appeal. I love the idea of ripping the band-aid off a new week and jumping into Monday with loving arms and happy thoughts!
This week I’m feeling gratitude because I have begun to think about my final goal check-in. Granted the new year isn’t quite yet and I do have a few more weeks to get some things done prior to the end of the year, but today seemed like a great day to check in!
My words this year, if you remember from this post (or this post) were Strength, Abundance & Love. I do believe I have stepped into these words fully. I’ve lost weight and gained muscle, strengthened my inner self, opened my own business and created an even more loving environment for myself and my family. I would say I was on target with these words and am excited to explore the next two weeks to see which words will pop up for 2015!
My year’s goals are as follows:
1. Finish my 500 hour Yoga Teacher Training — I’m not crossing this off yet, but it will be complete before 2015!
2. Complete my Reiki Certification 1.12.14 COMPLETE! ….. 6.22.14 Reiki 2 COMPLETE!
3. Complete my Thai Massage Certification
4. GO TO INDIA!! November 5th-25th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our magical Ganesha Temple Elephant
5. Host a (few) successful yoga retreat(s)
6. Write for Huffington Post and/or Daily Love — This year I truly branched out with my writing. I started with Boho Daily from Tiny Devotions and wrote several articles with them over the course of this year. I also write regularly for Activewear USA and as of November I was published in the Huffington Post!!!! You can see both my articles here and here.
7. Embrace my style I definitely embraced my style and began to come into my own. I used Stitch Fix a lot, which I LOVE. You should totally sign up here!
8. 15 Mani/Pedis —
IIII IIIII II — I was very close. I have a few weeks left to get 3 more!
9. Monthly Massages — Okay I was not good here. I received about 5 massages this year… I should have done more!
10. Scuba Dive!! 3.5 – 3.10.14 — we did 7 dives in 2 days in the Florida Keys and I saw my spirit animal… another octopus… I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!
11. Host a Diwali Party — I wish we did this one, but with going to India so close to Diwali we never got ourselves in line to do the party. Next year we shall, we promise!!
12. Take a trip with friends
13. Create a new tradition — Yes and Yes!! I started attending a new church and have been doing new moon ceremonies each month.
14. More time in Wolfeboro!!! — We spent more time in Wolfeboro this year than we have in the last 3 years, so yes I definitely checked this off my list!
15. Ambassador for a yoga product — I became an ambassador for a jewelry line called Shop Compliment and wrote many sponsored posts. Still working on becoming an ambassador for a yoga product specifically.
16. Begin writing my book — I started in September. Very slowly, very surely.
17. Go to a place I have never been — Pittsfield, VT ~ INDIA ~
18. DJ more often! – I only DJed three times this year.
19. Read more for FUN!! (Non-yoga/business books ~ even though those are fun, try new books) — Heck yes… library, book club, nerdy friends. Check, check, check.
20. Find the perfect home Moved into our #ravikumarden on June 1st!!
21. Meditate daily – Uh, nope. Need to work on my own meditation practice.
22. Try something on Pinterest monthly — Yes! Yummy new recipes, a few styles ideas for my Stitch Fix account and a lot of yoga inspiration. I definitely used pinterest at least monthly.
23. Eat more fish & veggies — I did pretty well here. Fish is not always my forte (unless it’s sushi), but I made an effort and when we were in India we ate a lot of fish and veggies!!
24. More green smoothies & tea!
25. Scrapbook our wedding album (and the 3 years since our wedding) — Perhaps this will get done before Christmas?!
26. Use my DSLR Camera More – Hubby bought me a wireless card for my DSLR and I’ve been using it like crazy!!
27. Buy a Kitchen Aid Mixer for my mom — Not this year…
28. Try new forms of exercise — Walking more, Tone it Up videos
29. Write more love letters (handwritten notes sent to friends & family) — SO many love letters!
30. Speak at an event!
31. Take a sushi making class
32. Go horseback riding 6.12.14 — Stowe Mountain Retreat for Yoga Reaches Out
I’m so grateful to do this each year as I connect and re-connect to my intentions and goals throughout the year. I love sitting down and not only looking to the future at the end of a year, but also to look behind me and see how far I’ve come.
This year I have opened a yoga studio, began writing for profit, established relationships with OMazing companies I’m proud to represent, went to India which is a country I have been craving and wanting for over 5 years and finalized the requirements for my 500 hour teacher training. It was a really great year and I’m so thankful to be in this present moment both looking forward and looking back.
For today’s Magical Monday I want to leave you with the little things I’m grateful for!!!
The Little Things
Writing Magical Monday’s again, my mom & dad both in yoga this week, spending time with my husband and our puppy boy Apollo, Apollo’s holiday card from daycare, my new cappuccino foamer for homemade lattes, Jacqui Bonwell at the Shala (!!), Telling a student about India and crying, my new singing bowl, making my own chex mix, the promise of a Christmas movie marathon with my doodle next week, being published in the Huffington Post (again), buying our new tree, applying for a freelance writing position, new students walking through the shala’s front doors, the promise of January and the new moon, gratitude from my family across the ocean, traditions, grocery store playtime with my mom and lots of love, always.
Get out there – do yoga and make life sparkle!